she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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