I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Where is the hickey?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
