**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
