your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
