I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
