Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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