Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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