Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
