Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Your tits are I can't wait for
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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