Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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