Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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