That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
