What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
do nipples grow back?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
