Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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