last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
