Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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