Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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