im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
