I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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