I just cut my nipple shaving
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
