drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
