Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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