I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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