they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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