wanna go halves on a baby?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
