If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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