I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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