Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
that is very illegal...i love you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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