WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
