How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
