dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
