Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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