he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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