walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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