Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
