She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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