Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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