But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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