dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
