Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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