when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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