Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
