There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
