It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
