that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think people are normalizing furries
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
