So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
