For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
