he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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