Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
