there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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