apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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