No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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